Ninja³ (Cube-icle Ninja)
I moonlight as a ninja, but it doesn’t pay the bills. Do you honestly think ninjas get paid to dance on rooftops in the dead of night to keep the world safe from harm? Sadly, protecting the public doesn’t command much of a salary, but I am a not-for-profit ninja, anyway. The office life is rough for a ninja, like myself. In attempt to make cube-dwelling life a little more tolerable, I could stock my cube with these office products designed with ninjas in mind.
Badge Holder: I find my company-issued badge holder to be ugly and boring. This stylish ninja badge holder serves a dual purpose. The first being its intended use and the second serving as a proclamation to my colleagues (that I am, indeed, a ninja). 
Mug: No one steals a ninja’s mug. To do so is just outright disrespectful. Try and steal this mug from me and see what happens to you. Go ahead. I double dare you.
Scissors: Need to quickly and secretly dispose evidence, receipts or confidential paper documents? Well, you can’t exactly use a noisy paper shredder to get the job done. Destroy documents in a matter of seconds (and quietly) with a pair of shredder scissors!
Invisible Ink: To the naked eye, they may look like just scattered blank sheets of paper on my desk. But little did you know that my paper mess is chock full of inconspicuous classified ninja business written in invisible ink! Only ninjas know of the secret method to reveal these invisible messages.
Laptop Cooler: The Ninja is designed to keep your laptop computer cool as a cucumber in stealth mode. This gadget is a noiseless heat killer!
Stealth Attack Launcher: If I ever find out who keeps stealing my Lean Cuisines out of the community freezer, they will be faced with a full-scale ninja attack! Ok, well maybe more like small-scale ninja attack. I’ll lie in wait until I catch them red-handed and then launch a flurry of 1-1/4” plastic ninjas in a stealth attack! Consider this your final warning.
Push Pins: Why conform to traditional thumbtacks when I can use throwing star-shaped push pins instead? They are sharp, shiny, and are pretty authentic-looking. They could be the topic of conversation for colleagues that randomly drop by my cube to shoot the breeze. At that point, I would reveal the true story of how they became embedded on my wall. They might reconsider before asking me for any favors.
USB Drive: You would think that because flash drives are so dirt cheap these days, no one would think to swipe the one off my desk. This flash drive is protected inside of a faux cassette tape! I can leave this baby in plain sight and no one would be any the wiser.
Blank Keyboard: Ninjas are stealthy and so why shouldn’t our keyboards also be? This blank keyboard would thwart any would be hackers intending to invade my PC, thus keeping ninja-classified business out of the wrong hands.
Necktie (for Boy ninjas): Ninjas can’t exactly wear black head-to-toe garb at the office. This neck-tie with throwing star design will turn your boring professional attire into an outfit that really means business.
Mouse Pad: When you can handle the daily grind of being a ninja, you can handle anything. With this retro-inspired mouse pad, my colleagues will always know that I’ve got things under control.
Electronics Duster: For ninjas, there are only two things in life worse than death: dishonor and filthy electronics! Got a dust problem? No problem! Simply spray the canned ninja dust assassinator on dirty circuitry and it will release tiny dust-slaying shurikens that will attack on contact, eliminating all traces of their existence. Mission complete.
Laptop Case: With this cleverly-designed laptop case, I can carry my covert ninja laptop around without detection! On the outside, it looks like a beat-up, over-sized padded envelope. So sneaky and stealthy!
Energy Drink: Its only 2:30 p.m. and I’m starting to crash. Coffee only makes me anxious and tea just makes me sleepier. Maybe if I reach for a can of Ninja Power energy drink, the effects will last long enough to get me through the rest of my workday. Gotta love the Brazillians for this concoction!
Spin, Spin, Sugar…
After more than ten years of wanting, dreaming, and talking about it, I finally put my money where my mouth is. I just bought my very first road bike! I am now a true San Franciscan. If you live in or have ever visited the City, you have probably observed that there are as many people on bikes as the dog-to-people ratio here. Ok, well maybe that isn’t a fair comparison, but the awesome sights of San Francisco never fail to draw out both locals and tourists alike on bikes!
Bike shopping was more daunting and overwhelming than I imagined it to be. Who knew that there was so much to know about the modern day bicycle? There is so much more to a bike than just its wheels, saddle, pedals, and handlebar. I was facing a major upgrade from my pink Huffy, circa 1989. Being that I am a complete noob when it comes to bikes, I spent weeks researching and asking around for advice before I even set foot (or better put, set butt) on a bike. Craiglist was a bust. I scoped out several stores to price out bikes and compare components. What seemed like overnight, I developed a new bicycle vocabulary containing such terms as Sora, Tiagra, 105, Ultegra, Dura-Ace, derailleur, crankset, cog, drivetrain, and cornering. Although I am better familiar with those terms, it doesn’t mean that I fully understand what they all mean or do just yet.
Being vertically-challenged at a petite 5’2″, I barely clear the minimum standover clearance of the smallest frame size: XS (44cm). It happens that I am also blessed with a short torso, arms, and legs. I need a bike that fits me like a glove and not the other way around. I’m built differently than a boy, so my bike should, too! I decided to go with a WSD (women’s specific design) bike. Score! I nabbed a great deal on the the 2009 Fuji Finest 1.0 women’s road bike at Performance Bike with nearly $400 off MSRP. It’s loaded with Shimano Tiagra front and 105 rear derailleurs and a 27-speed drivetrain. I love the combination of the bluish-grey colored frame and white flower detail on the down and seat tubes. It’s definitely girly, but the Shawnimals ninja sticker I slapped over the Fuji logo on the front of the head tube gives my bike personality and adds the perfect finishing touch.
Did you know that there are over 208 miles of bicycle accessible routes in San Francisco? I love my City! I am itching to ride over the Golden Gate Bridge and into Marin! But first, I’ve got to learn to ride in a straight line, master the art of pedaling, and read up on the Ten Ways to Not Get Hit By a Car.
Can I get this ninja to-go, pretty please?
It is only appropriate that my first post be ninja-related. However, I have put off my first blog entry for the last four 
weeks, waiting for the perfect object to ninja its way on my computer screen (pun intended). It has finally happened tonight. I present to you the bacteria assassin ninja toothbrush sanitizer.
How fitting that this ninja promotes oral health! Like myself, this ninja believes in brushing at least twice per day and protecting people from harm. Except that bacteria assassin ninja protects people from fecal coliform infestation. What, say you?! That’s the bacterial colony that can collect on the bristles of your toothbrush. GAG! Have no fear! Bacteria assassin ninja is here to murder those nasty germs with its powerful glowing blue UV light! Pew pew pew…
I’m torn! This adorable little ninja would look perfect in my bathroom. But I don’t have much use for it. I own a fancy electric toothbrush that comes with it’s own built in sanitizer in the charging base. I also don’t use my manual toothbrush very often, unless I am on the go. As a user of Invisalign, I’m enslaved to brushing after every meal before popping the aligners back in my mouth. Too bad this guy doesn’t come in travel-size.
